telapathetic:

i just wanna know what my house smells like to other people

(via perks-of-being-chinese)



(via coluring)


perfunctory:

it’s so cute when you talk to someone a lot and then you notice the little phrases that you use and the stupid little things you say slipping into their vocabulary more and more

(via pizza)


crazysience:

Me before social events

(via thejokers-psychotic-business)


(via cramp)


theantiherooftime:

A number one dad, ten out of ten, Dad of the year, gettin laid all year this year, best dad ever, you did it.

theantiherooftime:

A number one dad, ten out of ten, Dad of the year, gettin laid all year this year, best dad ever, you did it.

(via thejokers-psychotic-business)


tonistarkofwinterfell:

LIFE HACK IF SOMEONE IS REALLY EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING TRY TO BE EXCITED FOR THEM OR AT LEAST PRETEND TO BE AT LEAST SLIGHTLY INTERESTED BECAUSE NOTHING FEELS WORSE THAN EXPRESSING SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY ONLY TO HAVE PEOPLE TELL YOU TO CALM DOWN OR IGNORE YOU COMPLETELY

(via thejokers-psychotic-business)


kansass:

lets play a game called are u bad at texting back or do u hate me

(via thejokers-psychotic-business)


that-kid-in-the-drifloon-hat:

slutstatus:

can you believe that there are people on this earth who have never seen this video before

oh no oh no oh no OH NO oh my god.

(via coluring)


stoutshady:

emmetbrickowskivevo:

stoutshady:

once i accidentally called 999 and my brother was shouting “im gonna kill you” at his video game in the background and to cut a long story short 20 minutes later 2 police officers showed up at my house to check out a potential murder and this is why i hate my life

I think it’s 911…

i think i live in england…

(via thejokers-psychotic-business)


the-anal-rapist:

*purposely drop something in front of my crush*

image

(via una-directioner-bonita)


(via cramp)


nungers:

i just ate some delicious ravioli. no i didnt. do u see how easily lies can be spread on the internet?

(via thejokers-psychotic-business)